Friday, March 12, 2010

sigh...

... so long as we're up, i might as well take this opportunity to share a few things.

we've been in atlanta the last few days so that kev can participate in a conference for his birthday (today!) this means i've been full time caregiver for the better part of the last 48 hours. we arrived here around 11 on Wednesday night (10 our time). caroline had been asleep, at that point, for two hours. kev is usually pretty good at helping her stay asleep through transfers. her godsister's crib was at the ready for her... she woke up... and realized there were new toys (lots of them) and A DOGGIE (who is so afraid of Caroline, though she's mostly gentle... if loud... around her). sleeping? not happening. it was a terrible night. she got maybe 4 interrupted hours of sleep, me 2.5. Kev... a bit more. at one point in the wee hours i got up with her because she wouldn't settle. and she set to exploring the house. there were PLENTY of toys in the living room with which she could play legitimately, but NO she HAD to play the with noisy, musical table in the kitchen, just outside the room in which her Godfamily was sleeping. I kept redirecting and blocking the passage way... and she kept moving blockades away or melting down. Until she found an alluring piece of electronic equipment with buttons to push, again... redirect, MELTDOWN. for two hours in the wee hours...

and the next day of just the two of us... oh my goodness... when did my sweet girl become a monster? two SHORT naps and lots of insistent pursuit of that which was not o.k.. and many meltdowns.

i decided tonight that she's demon possesseed. when i left the restaurant with her tonight because she NEEDED to move and there was LOTS of space just outside the restaurant, and yet not totally outside (hard to explain) in which she could run and burn energy. but... repeatedly... on our trips out there, she fixated on the doorway to the parking lot at the end of a LONG hallway and HAD to get out there and into the parking lot. nothing else would do. would not be redirected. would not be cuddled or carried. HAD to run into the lot full of cars, some of which were moving. of course i didn't let her do this. at one point though, I walked out into the lot with her, picked her up and carried her to a median where she could safely walk a bit more, she turned around and pushed for the lot. and TOTALLY fell apart when I picked her up again. what is up with the obsessive compulsion to do the one thing it is not safe to do? and my goodness she has an impressive memory and attention span at moments like this.

that said... last night she slept through the night- from 10:30-6:30. i got almost seven straight hours of sleep. that is the most sleep i've had in a LONG time. and today she took two long naps. and was sweet as pie until our dinner adventures. she even blew a kiss at me today (and maybe even once yesterday). this is the first she's ever done that. we really had fun together at times today. she colored a card for her daddy. he loved it. (trying to get the crayons and card away from her when we were done was another one of those screechy meltdown moments and she tried to take the card back from kev after he opened it, but... the coloring time was awfully nice!) it was a good day for her especially because the dog is more afraid of rainstorms than of her and so the dog would press to be near me when a storm would blow up and would bear with c petting her and pushing her a bit which absolutely delighted c. the dog, not so much, but it was better than the storm. c becomes a dog here, it seems. remember the dog bowl incident? well... i made a birthday cake for kev and was working on frosting it today with whipped cream frosting when a dab of it fell onto the floor. caroline was standing by, but didn't seem to notice at first. then lulu, the dog, came over and started licking it up. the next thing I know caroline is down on all fours trying to do the same. gross? yes. but funnier than gross.

and tonight... its 11:10 here now. WAY past her bedtime- in either time zone. and every time i've tried to rock and do the bedtime routine she's pushed down and off my lap and run away. rinse. repeat. and we didn't give her any cake. yes, she had a bit of whipped cream frosting this afternoon, but... meh.

seems like maybe she's finally settling.

other news? she's a climbing fiend. she'll climb most anything. she's had some impressive climbs the past few days. we really need to get her to a play ground!

i love her like crazy. even when she's driving me crazy.

cue music- i will love you forever. i will like you for always. as long as i'm living my baby you'll be.

3 comments:

Silent said...

I hear you on the meltdowns and the desire to be in the most unsafe place. In moments like that I can't imagine how single parents do it--at least I don't have to handle every single one of these moments!

daisy said...

aren't you happy to have a strong little one who won't get lost in the crowd? Right? Sure, it won't be like this forever, it gets worse! Love Mamie

Heidi said...

Oh Sarah, hang in there!