Thursday, June 12, 2008

Dreaming

So I understand that dreaming, as in that which transpires in R.E.M. sleep, can become especially intense during pregnancy, particularly during the second trimester. I have been having more and more dreams that in the midst of them feel especially significant, but all have evaporated upon waking. But in the midst of last night I had a dream, which I now probably only remember in fragments, but every time I woke up after this dream I was still thinking about this dream so I thought I'd write down what I can remember here.

I was in a house that seemed vaguely familiar, but was not immediately identifiable, and it seems that I was staying in this house with several other people, much like I stayed in the home of a church member in my college town last week with all of my intern friends. It appears though that the people staying in the house with me were a mix of college friends and youth from the congregation I've been serving for the past six years and am now leaving. For much of the dream I was sitting at a butcher block island in the kitchen visiting with various folks or alone. And I kept noticing strange things. Mugs that were moving themselves, sometimes dramatically so, or other signs of a spiritual presence, a ghost if you will (not that I particularly believe in ghosts), that was up to something. In particular, it seemed that this ghost was trying to get my attention as no one else was noticing. At one point a mug full of coffee was raised all the way to the top of the high ceiling above us and I thought it would be poured out, but it wasn't. It wasn't like anything that was happening was especially scary. But the sense that I was seeing something that no one else could see was troubling, unsettling. I tried telling other people, but wasn't sure if they believed me. It seemed that the two girls from my congregation who regularly blow me away were the ones who took me the most seriously.

When it came time for bed in the dream I was quite frightened, shaken. We were sleeping not far from the kitchen where all these supernatural occurrences had transpired. I had trouble falling asleep, but did eventually. And I believe there was a dream within the dream, but I don't remember what it was. What I do remember was being awakened by the sense that I was being poked, but there was no one there. I started moaning and shaking and making the distressed sounds of someone having a night terror. Sloane, one of the girls in the dynamic duo from my youth group here in Lowville, the one who's empathy I find to be the most astonishing and moving thing, heard my distress and got in bed with me as a mother would for a child, stroking my hair and saying soothing words of comfort.

These are the elements that are clinging to me upon every waking, that have me blogging when I wish to still be sleeping. Maybe it is just a hodgepodge of things floating about my brain- the ghost bit from the show that we we watching as I fell asleep, the staying in an unknown house bit with lots of other people from my recent travels with the youth group and with my college intern friends (hence the presence of these two groups), but it feels more significant. Why? Any analysts out there want to take a stab at it?

3 comments:

Sandwitchedin said...

You have briefly seen the new town you will spend the next 6 years, have you seen your new house or K's description? Thus the "vaguely" familiar house.

The conversations around a table in the kitchen with 2 very different circle of people that love and care for you, support you and with whom you do not want to loose contact with. People who will be with you throughout your life. You know family will be, that's why they were not in this dream ;-)

The moving mugs. YOU'RE MOVING. Expecting a child, moving to a new state, starting a very intense Phd program. All of these HUGE life changes YOU could only do so much for them to become reality. YOU had no control over the outcome of these "dreams" (thus the possible dream within a dream. The HOLY SPIRIT did. These are YOUR dreams - thus no one else could see what you saw. The spirit above was not scary, the coffee was not a threat and you trusted.

Ahhh, just my stab at it.

Love,
Aunt Debbie

Shalom said...

Continuing in the 'parallel-lives' vein...I had a somewhat similar dream not long ago. Very different details, but the main similarity was my seeing something others weren't, and trying to convince them I was right. I suspect that was about my own worries and self-doubting: am I doing the right thing? How can I get some (more) verification of that? Am I right about what I think, or am I a crazy person who is making this all up?

Either that or I had some bad sushi.

PK said...

Could being poked be a gentle internal kick?