Wednesday, September 24, 2008

belly shot, of a different sort, a few weeks ago, and some belly thoughts




This picture was taken on our first serious attempt at sabbath keeping. We drove to a state park and took a hike around the lake pictured behind me. It was either just before or just after entering the third trimester. Let's see, the picture was taken on September 7th. Tomorrow is September 25th and that will be 30 (!) weeks. So the 18th was 29, the 11th was 28- o.k., just before the third trimester. I don't lift the shirt because a) in public, b) clingy enough, c) belly is rather big enough to be seen through shirt now.

Several times since moving here I have driven past a frozen yogurt place and thought "I really need to go in there sometime to see if they have any sugar free frozen yogurt." Well, it wasn't exactly on the way home after childbirth class, but it wasn't way out of the way... and I was hot... and wanting something cold and sweet. So, Kev obliged and took me there. It turns out that ALL the frozen yogurt they sell is sugar free, sweetened with fructose only! And its fat free. And it comes in yummy flavors. And you serve yourself and pay by the weight of whatever you dish up- which, admittedly, was pricey, but... worth it.

Anyhow, when we first arrived at this place, being newbies one of the employees came over to give us taste tests and let us know of the virtues of the product. She nodded to my belly and said "I take it you're pregnant? Either that or you're a really big lady." Um... thanks?! She was shocked to learn that I am not due until December. I was wearing a maternity shirt, a red one at that, and maybe... it accentuated things, but... I said "Well, I'm really not all that big. People are still frequently surprised to learn I'm pregnant." I wasn't offended. It is nice that people recognize the pregnancy now. She confided pretty quickly that she desperately wants to be pregnant. When we checked out she said that she was going to need help to get pregnant. We shared that we had been through that ourselves. "Was it you or was it you?" She said pointing at each of us in turn. "It was me," I replied, "I guess. We never had very good answers about what was going on." "Oh, for me it's him. He doesn't have Arnold Schwarzenegger sperm." "Motility issus?" I queried. "Uh-huh. And the doctor flat out said we're not ever getting pregnant without help. And I lost it." "I understand," I said, recalling the moment my doctor wrote "infertility" in the diagnosis box. There was more to our conversation, but you get the gist... a pretty raw conversation for sales person/customer interaction, but I'm an open book and she clearly needed to talk, and I KNOW how pregnant pregnant people seem when all you want is a baby and that seems like the farthest possible reality. Our story seemed to give her hope, and we both wished her every blessing as we walked out with our yummy yogurt (with four active cultures to help with, "you know, the stuff that happens to pregnant women"- one of her opening comments...)

I recall reading a fertility blog when we were deep into our struggle and the women on that blog were proposing some sort of bracelet or signal that women could wear to show one another that they understand- especially when they're eight months pregnant. I'm not yet eight months pregnant, but I wish I could wear a t-shirt that said "had to wait awhile" or "didn't come easily" or something... because I know... I know how hard my belly is for some women to see.

8 comments:

kwenner said...

i appreciate the idea of a sign or symbol that would represent one's understanding of infertility...but tonight lady, seeing that belly is pure joy for me! i can't wait to be there in november!

LittleMary said...

such a good post. can't wait to meet the baby and see you guys soon!

esperanza said...

Cute picture!

I like to call A our "long term project"

Sarah S-D said...

ooh... long term project... i like that!

that could work on a belly shirt!!! on so many levels... maybe i'll have one made!

Sneaksleep said...

That's a perfect slogan! You can even wear it post-pregnancy, since we are all long-term projects in one way or another... :)

esperanza said...

If you're really wanting to open conversation, it could go on a onesie for the wee one...it's just humorous enough to make people who've been there start a conversation (like, "oh, we have one of those too"). And clueless people remain pretty clueless. At least that's my experience. But we don't have t-shirts.

Beach Walkin said...

I'm not a patient person... and waiting to get pregnant with baby girl... was almost too much to bear. I'm sooooooo happy for you!!!!! As to the long term project... I can assure you... having a child is definitely a long term project... and I'm sure as heck not talking about being pregnant. Today... I talked with baby girl (18) about boyfriends... and with man child (25) about his sermon for tonight and tomorrow. We are still moving money into various checking accounts. But you know... every single moment... throw-up and all... has been worth it and will be worth it... forever.

Iris said...

(o)