Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Letting People Know

I had intended to keep the news of our pregnancy very quiet in Lowville, telling only the Adsit family for quite some time. But then I got to thinking about all the people who have walked this painful infertility road with us. And while I'm still not telling everyone and while I'm asking those we tell to not share the news until we do so publicly (which everyone has grasped and honored thus far) every week I tell a few more people.

The day after we found out I was feeling exceedingly spacey and felt I wanted to explain to the secretary. She has wept with me in this struggle before. She wept for joy when I told her the news. She hugged me. She kissed me. She exclaimed "The timing doesn't matter!"

The Saturday after we found out I asked Lorene to come down to the church basement after vespers. She works in one of the hospitals where I had ultrasound after ultrasound and blood draw after blood draw when my body was. not. responding. to higher and higher levels of injectible hormones. We would see her after discouraging testing and she would hug us and assure us of her prayers. I needed to share our joy and ask for her prayers. Kev had thanked God for good news during the open prayer time at vespers and she claims she knew then.

The next morning I told a woman who tried to conceive for something like eight years before she finally did. She now has two children, one born in my first year here, whom she calls her miracles. She teared up and quietly told her husband and assured us of her prayers.

I also told my hair stylist, who is a church member, because she has been checking in with me on the baby front for years now and because I was wondering if I could get my hair colored or not. She squealed. She hugged me. She vowed not to do ANYTHING that could possibly hurt our baby.

The next week passed and I refrained from telling anyone else at church until Saturday rolled around, the day after our second ultrasound, and I was at the coffee shop with two stellar teenagers who were sharing their long kept secret plans for the weekend getaway they have planned to honor Kevin and me. I said "Since I know you two are so good at keeping secrets can I tell you one?" Their eyes got big as they said in unison "Sure!" "O.K. but you can't tell anyone until I tell everyone. We're pregnant." Their eyes bugged out; their mouths dropped open. "That is so exciting!" I explained again why they needed to keep it quiet and they made a motion like they were locking their lips shut. They didn't even tell the mom who picked them up.

The next morning a woman was in church who painted a delicate egg for us a few years ago, all the symbols and colors on the egg were chosen for their fertility significance. She gave me this egg in a beautiful crystal stand as a gift from morning Bible Study. And we have been snow shoeing with her and I have shared my sorrow in the past. I took her aside after church on Sunday, sat down with her, and told her. She started crying. She hugged me. She was beside herself.

Today I decided it was time to tell the Bible Study groups, again, wonderful communities of mutual support and prayer. And the reactions were intense, powerful in both groups. Men stood up to shake my hand. Women jumped up to hug me. Sparkling eyes and pure joy. I also made a pastoral care call to a couple who used to be active in morning Bible Study and I told them. They were utterly giddy. When I asked for prayer requests the husband said "Well, I want to pray for your baby." "Thank you, please do, every day."

I know that yet still anything could go wrong. But these are people whose support I will need should it happen before I leave here. And knowing they are all praying now... ah... this is at least part of why we have church isn't it?


April said...

Yes, yes, yes. I am sure those folks consider it a holy and blessed privilege to be able to minister to you in some way. What amazing gifts you are receiving in their reactions and joy! It is almost overwhelming to read about it -- I can't imagine what it feels like. Well done, dear.

Desert Mama said...

yes - I found it so hard to not tell people as soon as I knew both times - W. wanted to wait longer, to be sure - and I wanted to honor that desire of his, as it was our news, not just mine - but sharing such joyous news was such an amazing thing. And I found that it gave people a way to care for me - it's hard to explain, but it made me more "human" in their eyes I think - as they had a concrete way to care for me as their pastor.

Rev SS said...

It is indeed! What a gift you are giving by letting people share this part of the journey with you!