Tuesday, April 22, 2008

On Gender

My seminary roommate called last week and said, "So how are you feelin'... like a girl or like a boy?"

I laughed. "I'm feelin' like it is WAY too early to know something like that." In fact, it isn't even gendered yet, right?

"Oh come on, you must have a hunch."

"No, really, I don't. And I'm not planning on finding out until we give birth so you're just going to have to be patient."

"But I'm having a dilemma in the knit shop."

"Just get something that would work either way."

"Well, that was the plan but there is a GORGEOUS orange, but there's only one skein. And there's a lovely teal, but there are only two skeins."

"Well, there are plenty of other colors that go either way. I'd put in a girl in ANY color and I'd put a boy in almost any color." And then I rattled off options.

She sighed and said she'd figure it out.

My sister left me a voice mail today saying that she had a vision today of chubby baby girl legs in tights and she is sure we're going to have a girl. This is the second time she has predicted that. (Another friend guessed girl as soon as she found out we're pregnant.)

I came home from work today and checked the other blog. Someone commented on my post about the curative powers of a big, juicy orange that citrus cravings mean boy. Or at least that that's how it worked out for her.

I wouldn't say I'm craving citrus (or anything in particular), I'm just really enjoying fruit, especially oranges right now.

Funny how significant gender is to folks, eh?


Wyldth1ng said...

As an electrician my chances are higher to be a girl, so you have to ask K if in the last 6 months or so has he been around anything that might cause his girls to do better. That is if you want to know or something to think about.

(I there you go again using words I don't have in my vocabulary: skeins)

esperanza said...

We haven't regretted for a minute waiting till the birth to find out the gender. It's all the people trying to make/buy presents that have the trouble with it. And, for what it's worth, my "mother's instinct" was wrong.

April said...

I thought both of my children were the opposite of what they actually are. It is odd how I felt that disappointment momentarily when I realized that they weren't what I thought they were. It was probably good practice though. :)

We found out the gender at 20 weeks with both kids, and like Esperanza, did not regret that choice for a second. I loved knowing who they were for the entire second half of the pregnancy. They both had their own songs with their names that I sang to them in utero and out. It was wonderful.

LittleMary said...

and then you get kids who are trans or intersex and it screws it all up. it makes me very, very sad how gendered we make our kids from the very beginning, how connected we make that to the thing in between the legs. whatever you get, i will love it!

Iris said...

It drove several of my friends nuts that we didn't find out with either of our kids until birth. "How are you going to plan?," they'd ask. I'd say, "I *am* planning-- to love and care for a baby."

Like Esperanza, we didn't regret it at all. I loved choosing names and it was fun to hear my husband announce to me whether the baby was a boy or girl. And, yeah, I was wrong both times, too! That's so funny that so many of us get that wrong!

j said...

I was adamant about not finding out. My husband-at-the-time was desperate to know, and complained that we got all gender-neutral colors, which was kind of moot, as he is color blind. I was really political about it, vocally, as in, "We're bound to mess with this kid's gender identity enough as it is--why start already when its in utero?!" But secretly, I hoped that it would be a girl, but I did not even admit that to myself until she was born and I realized I was thrilled. Still am, but couldn't really articulate why, and I'm sure that makes me a rotten person, preoccupied with gender and such...guilty as charged.

For whatever it's worth, I think you're having a girl!!