Saturday, November 22, 2008

because... clearly... i don't REALLY want to finish these papers

... i'll blog a bit.

12 days.

I'm due in 12 days.

A year ago I thought I might never be pregnant, and now, in the holy length of 12 days I'm due.

Is this how Elizabeth felt as her womb grew heavier and heavier and tightened on and off, mostly imperceptibly?

Or Sarah? Or Rebekah? Or Rachel? Or Hannah?

Awe and wonder primarily.

There is a baby inside me. A BABY.

And like my foremothers in faith, I know not who this child is or will be.

Unlike my foremothers in faith, I've had no divine messengers or holy dreams.

Unless you count all the people who are CERTAIN they know the gender of this child.

And I haven't kept a poll, but... I think... they're split 50/50.

In my dreams, the few I've had about a baby since becoming pregnant, I've dreamed of a boy.

But my heart pulls a bit harder at the thought of a girl.

I just started reading about the earliest hours and days of a baby's life.

And I know that it. will. not. matter. at. all.

For a child will be born to us.

A son or daughter given to us.

And all shall be well.

2 comments:

Debra said...

S. You are due now! And, sometime within the next couple of weeks a welcome, complex, and holy hormonal communication will happen between your body and your baby signalling readiness to start to the process for you to receive your gift. Contractions will begin to get more evident and then will begin in earnest and our job (Ke, Ka, your mom, your dad, even me but, those who love you) will be to be with you and stand by you as we welcome your gift into his/her world.
Old mother wollaber sees your struggle with completing your papers as a bit of a coming to grips with moving from the comparative 'safety' of what you are somewhat familiar with to begin focusing completely on the upcoming - the unknown. Hanging on to the papers keeps you from having to completely "jump over the broom" to total preparation. It's so normal. And you will do it - you are so strong and capable and loving - and Ka arrives today!!!

Heidi said...

Sarah, I'm so excited for you. I really am. I am praying for you, the baby, Kevin, and your sister. And the midwives and everyone helping. What an amazing thing. Can't wait to see pictures, know the gender (I think it's a girl, for some reason, but whatever it is, it will be so blessed!), and hear the names you and Kevin will give it.

It's SO cool your baby will be born in Advent. Wow. Love you!!!