a different tone for the start of this 37th week

I realize I was grumbly, anxious, moany yesterday... but... really... I had every reason to be jubilant, grateful, and full of praise of God.

Why?

This pregnancy has gone full term. Those anxious nights in the first trimester when I couldn't sleep and when I'd send positive vibes to the baby hoping it would dig in and stay tight... I couldn't believe then that this would actually come to pass, that we would really and truly have a babe in arms at the end of the year. I have been cautiously hopeful through this pregnancy, but I've also been self-protective- still not really relating to the baby as a person, for example, even now, not until I meet him or her will I feel able to do so (unless something amazing shifts in the next few weeks). But friends, the baby should be totally capable of surviving outside the womb now, even if I unfortunately go into labor before the last paper is written, it is o.k. now, truly. This is a major milestone. A milestone for which I give thanks, great thanks.

And the kind o.b. yesterday (HOORAY! A doctor with whom I'm comfortable should a doctor be needed!) said in more ways than one "There are no risk factors in your pregnancy. You have every reason to believe you will successfully birth this baby at home and will never see me again." He felt around on my belly and identified a head, a foot, a heel, a butt. Wow. There really is a person in there. And his confidence in the health of this pregnancy, his words of assurance- again, so much for which to give thanks, great thanks.

And so many at school are checking in with love and concern and admiration. One of my classmates called me "Shera" yesterday so in awe was she of the ways I'm keeping up with school in these last days of pregnancy. For this I give thanks, great thanks.

And two friends are joyfully preparing to host a shower for us on Sunday. I'm not sure who all will be there, but... we're so new here. To have close enough friends already to be able to have a shower, for this I give thanks, great thanks.

So... even though I'm still in crunch week, even though I didn't sleep much last night, even though I'm not quite sure how I'll get through today- I will because God is good. All the time.

And I give thanks, great thanks.